he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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