hotel room ftw
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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