Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
