do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
it's like heaven, but drunker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize