then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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