She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It's blow job season.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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