hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
