Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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