With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
