Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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