He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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