I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
