i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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