i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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