DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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