Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I didn't notice because vodka
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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