just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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