Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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