I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
