one two three fourrrrnication!
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
