why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
