there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
All the doctor said was why
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize