So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
