I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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