I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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