We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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