He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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