real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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