I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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