I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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