Princesses don't give blow jobs
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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