I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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