do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
