Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
