This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
