she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize