It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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