Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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