Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My breasts were aching with rage.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
