I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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