God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
