wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
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