Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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