So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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