The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
