It's Friday. Sex?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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