Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
