i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
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I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
