i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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