just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
