Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
