we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
