so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
