trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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