just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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