He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
