You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
So squirting runs in the family.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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