I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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