letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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