she was so not down for the gang bang
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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