she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
