hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
