last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
