its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
