I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
