some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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