my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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